Wonder

I felt dead tired, and, to be honest, a bit dead inside as well.

This was the other day and I wondered about the possible cause. It’s hard to cope with such a deadness when your brain (or heart) seems to be part of the problem. On the other hand, there are many possible causes – recovering from Covid, the drab gray winter (this always gets me), the sin of sloth (more of indifference rather than indolence) or my longstanding depression. I was stuck wondering why I am like this and how can I ever find passion or energy or what have you, all while not feeling like I really wanted to do anything other than sleep.

I asked God for help, and I would so very much like to report that I was instantly better and energized, but that didn’t happen.

But later I was thinking about how astounding it is to be human, and how astonishing other humans can be. I mean, technically miracle isn’t the right word, but what an amazing collection of systems we have. We have eyes that can see color and depth, ears that can hear tones and music, ways to not only get food for nutrients but to enjoy them. We have brains that can feel and relate to one another – that can identify as a separate entity (a self) and that can see others as individuals as well.

Each person we see is a compendium of wonders that go so much deeper than we can see. We can’t always recognize this in the people we interact with. Sometimes we are dead to the wonder, and sometimes the people we meet have been pressed down to forget what a wonder they are.

We should spend more time reminding each other of the wonderment that is us. And we should remember this applies to everyone – to me, to my friends, to my enemies. The wonder and admiration shouldn’t be restricted to skin color or ethnicity or class.

I still am struggling with my own limitations, but I feel like God renewed a sense of curiosity in me that can help. I hope that I can remind others of their wonder and worth.